Tuesday, 6 November 2012

Hello. Is it me your looking for?

Now for anyone expecting a Formula One post. I do apologise in advance. Because today is not about F1. It's about me. (Selfish I know.)
But because of the amount of time I have been away from the blog. I feel like it is time to set the record straight.
But be warned it's not pretty. (But it will probably be a bit rambling and full of nonsense. Standard really.)

I used to say to anyone who would listen that Formula One is a major part life.
Lately though. I feel I have lost my spark.
Both for writing and Formula One.
This however is not Formula One's fault.

It's my fault.

The blog has been neglected mainly because life has got in the way.
Work, illness, moving house and trying to juggle life.
It's all been a bit too much.
And I've struggled to cope at times.

Formula One for the past few months reminded me how much I haven't achieved over the last few years. In career and in life. So I started doing what I always do when I'm down.
I gave up on it all.
The one thing that makes me happy and I just dropped it.

I've stopped watching races, I stopped recording FanFormula's and I stopped writing.
The three things that make me the most happy and I just gave up on them. Because I was terrified.
Terrified because over the last three months my confidence has nose dived.
And I just shut myself away. From everything.

So after a lot of time spent soul searching in the past few of weeks and lots of chats with the boyfriend.  I know that 2013 is my last proper chance to make the blog work and to really try to improve myself and my confidence, but I know in order to make it work that I have to sort my shit out. Properly.

So over the next few weeks I'm going to reintroduce more blog posts and build up my confidence slowly. I would like to promise the world straight away but I know it's wise to start slow and see how things go.

This is probably my most honest post but I like to think that most bloggers have these kind of thoughts at least once in their blogging career. So I'm hoping not be completely mauled for my thoughts.

So before I go and start writing again. I would love to thank all the people who have been reading my blog posts whilst I haven't wrote. You are all amazing.

And thank you to everyone on twitter for being so kind when I've been down. It's lovely to think that people you don't even know can care so much.

And the biggest thanks has to go to David. The boyfriend who makes me believe I can do anything. You rule.

And now before this turns into an Oscar speech worthy of a pack of tissues.
I'm going to exit the building.

Thank you for listening.

You can also follow me on twitter @squiffany. If I'm around of course. :P

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